It takes time to build big relationships – or does it?

Ian Lock

Ian Lock

Senior leaders often tell me that it takes time to build big relationships and it’s not something that can be done quickly. In my work as a leadership consultant, I regularly have to build a big enough relationship with a leader in less than an hour! So how do I do it? Here are the 4 steps that have helped me and may help you:

1, Find out what the other person wants in their life. When we know what someone wants in their life it becomes a lot easier to help them get it.

2, Ask them why they come to work. Understanding what brings someone to work is a powerful step to engaging them.

3, Help them explore what success looks like for them. We all have our own definition of success and when we feel we are being helped toward that success it’s a great feeling that increases our energy and commitment.

4, Get in touch with what the person really cares about. What we care about has a huge bearing on our behaviour and how we show up in pursuit or defence of them.

Leadership enquiry: Ask yourself what you currently know about the people around you from these 4 perspectives. Then pick a couple of people this week with whom you are working and find time to talk with them about some of the above. Notice how they respond and notice what you learn about them. See if their answers help you build big relationships, fast.

By Ian Lock

Learn more about the author of this article, Ian Lock

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